It’s been an interesting and long trip, but I’m happy to be with Jessica finally. I couldn’t be happier, and I hope she feels the same.

<3

He presented Trista with a complicated order, but explained it in such a matter that she didn’t get it. Neither did I, at first. After the second time she asked him to clarify, he said (I quote), “This is ridiculous. Can I get someone who isn’t stupid to take my order?” That was strike one against the asshole.

I get to the register, take his order, and go back to get some crusts, only to find Trista sitting by the schedule/sink nook, eyes red and puffy, tears streaming down her cheeks. That was strike two. The final one, since I don’t have a “Three Strikes” policy. I make his pizza, and, as I’m wrapping it, ask him “Can you do me a favor?”

Him: “What?”

Me: “Next time, check your attitude at the door.”

Him: “What attitude? She was an idiot.”

Me: “I’ve got a crew member in the back, crying because of your uncalled for words. I don’t need that, and neither does she.”

Him: “I think what you need to do is hire competent employees.”

Me: “I have a store full of competent employees.”

Him: “Well, she was young and probably new.”

Me: “She’s been her almost 3 years, and is one of my best. It’s not my fault, nor hers, that you chose to communicate your order poorly.”

Him: “Maybe I should take my business elsewhere.”

Me: “That’d be best for us both, since I don’t need customers who enjoy hurting my crew.”

This may have gone over the line, but as he walked out…

Me: “And set a better example for your daughter by not making women cry in public.” (He had his wife and kid with him, who had left the instant I started chewing him out.)

I will admit, I was shaking the whole time. I’m not going to pretend I’m Mr. Badass and was staring him down, sensing his fear. He was a cocky asshole, and probably doesn’t care at all what I said. What I cared about was that he made her cry. Not only is Trista a crew member, she’s a close friend. I’m protective of both. I won’t mourn the loss of a customer like him.

Product: Electro-Harmonix English Muff’n
Price Paid: US $189
Submitted 08/11/2005 at 01:25am by paul
Email: sputnikcanceryahoo dot com

Ease of Use : 5
the ease of use can be a bit hard to describe becuz although it is easy to turn knobs, it can be hard to find the eright sound with this thing. so ease of use is 5 because i had a pretty hardtime to make it sound good (which was only about halfway decent)

Sound Quality : 6
i used this pedal with my billy martin prs, into my peavey triple x half stacked. honostly, this pedal isn’t anything terribly new. it is kind of old because it sounds exactly like a big muff. this thing is basically a big muff with a different paint job. why not just buy the muff?

Reliability : 8
turns on everytime

Customer Support : 5
i called to tell them that i didn’t fall for it, and that i knew it was just a big muff in a different case, but they didn’t seem to be very friendly about it. i don’t get this. they tried to tell me mumbo jumbo about tubes and stuff, but i kept saying “very funny, i know its just a big muff.” i even pointed out that the name had muff in it. not very cleaver. i guess they wetre friendly, but they were getting a bit snappy at me.

Overall Rating : 4
for my style of hard rock/nu metal/emo (i’m in like, 4 bands) this pedal works fine, but i wish i didn’t buy it just because i already have a big muff and thats what it sounds like exactly. oh well. i dont think i would be buying a new one if it broke, got stolen, left behind “on accidnet” at a gig (i play a lot).

Hip hip hooray
It’s Weasel Stomping Day
Weasel Stomping Day
Hey

Courtesy of Shmorky

Courtesy of Shmorky

If you haven’t joined the Something Awful Forums yet, what are you waiting for? The “Retarded Dragon” thread (Part 1 and Part 2) is worth the price of admission, easily.

I leapt across three or four beds into your arms
Where I had hidden myself somewhere in your charm
Our golden handshake has been smashed into this shape.
It’s taken magic to a primitive new place
Watch ‘em run, although it’s the minimum, heroic

We hunched together in one chair out on the deck
In snow that froze and fell down on the modern set
It looked as if I picked your name out of a hat
Next thing you know you are asleep in someone’s lap
Watch ‘em run, although it’s the minimum, heroic

We quit the room
Quit so our thoughts could rest
Rest them, I’ll never move?
That’s when we grab a hold
Of whatever it is we fell into
Lousy with your content
With what the majestic cannot find
In business of your lives
The perception, it is wrong, mile after mile
The phantom taste drinking wine from your heels

We have arrived too late to play the bleeding heart show

You don’t think that I tried for you? I went into disguise for you.
So, of course, almost no one knew.

You don’t think there was payment due? I blew up in the sky for you.
Anyone who saw it knew.

But did you, didn’t you ever wonder,
Maybe if you were under your own spell?
Thinking it was all she wrote, thinking it was all she wrote,
Thinking it was all the words ever written.

So, of course, almost no one knew

A little background… yes, I work at a pizza place. No, it’s not very interesting. Yes, I smell like pizza right now.

Anyway, I recently got promoted to shift manager, which includes a decent pay raise and 30% more bitching from Jen… but the pay raise and the small amount of responsibility is nice. Today was my first shift to run, and Sundays are normally pretty quiet, but we got hit hard today… 180 pizzas, I would say, and it seemed like most of them were too complicated for their own good. I survived, though, and Otis said I did a good job… so, sometimes “trial by fire” works.

More later, once I’m conscious.

One day you blew across the water after racing through the countdown,
Spewing ancient wisdom like your friends the revelations had come,
And they were looking for me.
I took the red-eye back to glory but the more I got the facts straight,
It turns out that the story’s getting shorter,
And what I want to know is: will it happen to me?

Can’t take them out, can’t take them out with baby artillery.
Can’t take them, can’t take them out,
Lady, it’s secretarial. Secretarial.

We’ve been divided, we’ve decided it’s a problem we can live with,
The motion to defeat it is repeated,
And what I want to know is: will it happen to me?
So come on, let the son in, we’ve been gunning for promotion,
Postering the slogans on the roadsigns,
But I want to know when it happens to me.

Can’t take them out, can’t take them out with baby artillery.
Can’t take them, can’t take them out,
Lady, it’s secretarial. Secretarial.

Can’t take them out, can’t take them out with baby artillery.
Can’t take them, can’t take them out,
Lady, it’s secretarial. Secretarial.

Hard to make out from the shitty cell picture, but Becky drew that of/for me. It’s the sweetest damn thing ever. Click for a bit bigger.

Police: So, where are you headed?
Adam: Home?
P: Where’s that?
A: *points*
P: Well, I’m going to have to check your ID to make sure you don’t have any warrants out…

Honestly, if our police did less work stopped “suspicious” guys walking in the rain and actually solving crimes, we’d be better off.